Tag Archives: writing

March 9, 2015 · 11:23 am

Faking Your Way to Success

A year or so ago, I found this TED talk from 2012. I remind myself to go back and rewatch as often as possible.

Today this phrase jumped out: “Women feel chronically less important than men” Looks like some of us need to break ourselves out of this state of being.

And  THIS CHART a visual reminder of body language.

Even if I wasn’t born or raised to succeed in something I could ask myself: What does a successful person in this field do? Even more to the point: How does a successful person act/speak/behave? Hasn’t helped with my housekeeping but it has more than once pulled me out of a deep abyss.
Then I found out, more often than not, these successful people were faking it right along with me.

Like ANNA BLAKE a successful horse trainer, Dressage rider, rescue organizer. Just as doubt ridden as the rest of us but moving forward every day.

Step by step, arms in the air. We’re all in this together and together we will succeed.

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February 27, 2015 · 7:19 pm

Formula for Success #AmWriting #MFRWAuthor

Flourish where you're planted and hold on

Flourish where you’re planted and hold on

Don’t Quit.

Well, DUH, you say. We already knew that. True. But there’s knowing and there is understanding what you know. And there’s really understanding what we need to know, to achieve success. Kristen Lamb nudged me into seeing this (think in terms of that anvil the Road Runner used on the Coyote:  Five Principles of Achievement

Right. That.

You might back slide. You might do something else for a while. But you do NOT quit.

I once decided to research what former profession successful writers held. Some of them continue in this profession since this is not the most stable of vocations. Lots of nurses, ever notice? Police, military, teachers. Mmm Hmmm. Business owners, especially entrepreneurs, people who have started and held together various businesses; successful sales people. Lawyers, quite a few of those, and also teachers.

What is the common denominator for these professions? You can’t skate through these jobs on charm and a smile. And with most of them you also need an extensive education. No faking it in nursing or law (well, some lawyers…) Most if not all of these professions require good scheduling and a tremendous work ethic.

I know, these are very broad generalizations. But writing, especially writing prolifically, requires dedication, scheduling, and determination to succeed. All of which are invaluable in the above professions.

Of course, there’s a lot to be said for a scattered approach to your prior to writing occupation. If nothing else, you

Keep holding on...the same bush in the winter

Keep holding on…the same bush in the winter

gather a plethora of experience…**holds hand up high and proud**…I never made it into vet school but I waited tables and groomed dogs and trained horses with the best of them. Leading me, in my 30s, to a temp position as a buyer’s assistant at a power plant. And I discovered it’s just so much nicer to work indoors when the thermometer is busting out the top of the glass. Not to mention being paid if you’re sick!!! Another plus is not smelling like cigarette smoke or flea dip when you drag yourself home from work.

Win. Win.

With my mind not obsessing over paying my bills without destroying my back I was able to free my thinking patterns up to write down the stories I’d been mentally collecting for decades.

Write. Rewrite. Edit. Submit. Repeat as needed, ad infinitum

Definitely the formula for success.

shine wherever you land

shine wherever you land

 

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February 24, 2015 · 1:04 am

What’s So Bad About Being Good?

The Billionaire’s Girlfriend

The Sheik’s Secret Passion

The Trillionaire’s Hidden Girlfriend

The Duke’s…The General’s…The Warlord’s…The Alpha’s…

These tropes have been a part of romance writing from the beginning. Along with the Lost Heir, Secret Baby, Self Made Huge Success. Plus name brand shoes, expensive cars, the best of the best of the best.

For good reason. These are popular themes, and these books sell. Some people want books to take them away from the mundane. They want to put themselves in the expensive shoes of the most beautiful woman in the room, being appreciated by the richest, most powerful man in the world. Fantasy is a wonderful thing and if you like writing these stories then you should indulge.

But if this is not your lifestyle and it’s an effort for you to come up with all the necessary accoutrements; if you’re more of a dusty boots and old truck kind of a writer…then write about dusty boots and old trucks and people who fall in love in small towns.003

If you’re uncomfortable with clinical sex scenes and don’t understand the BDSM lifestyle, don’t try to fake it. You will be found out.

Small town series sell. It wouldn’t take much to name multiple successful books set in towns where the readers want to move one day. Good people going about their lives, loving each other, fighting, making up. Well written, honest conflict piques interest the same as extravagant lifestyles and high drama. For me as a reader and a writer, it’s better when the citizens in that small town are believable, and not a cast of wealthy people, highly successful, former champions. But again, that’s my personal preference.

Do not be afraid to write about ordinary people who live and laugh and love. Ordinary people who do extraordinary things: fight fires, foster children, contribute to the idea that life is worth living. And if you do write those books, don’t be surprised at the number of readers who thank you for writing about people to whom they can relate.

We can’t all wear Jimmy Choo.

 

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February 22, 2015 · 12:55 pm

Let’s Make Sunday a Time for Feeling

DORANNA DURGIN reminded me of a singer who had been in the back of my mind while I indulged in sharing music I love. Most of these songs tell a story and when you follow a specific singer that story expands. What is a great song but setting a good story to wonderful music?

John Denver has been a particular favorite for a long, partially (or mostly) because he wasn’t afraid to expose himself to the world for his music. Such as his song to his wife. Here is a male who understood romance!

Singing about the life of a touring musician who has to leave the one he loves:

And his love affair with Colorado:

Yet a love song to West Virginia

All of these and more exposed John Denver as a complex man with strong convictions. Doesn’t listening to all these songs, one after another, just tickle your plotting nerves? Sure does mine.

We have a snowy week ahead of us. Moisture in any form is so welcome.

Hug the ones you love, two legged or four

Hug the ones you love, two legged or four

Happy Sunday

 

 

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February 6, 2015 · 10:21 pm

The Secret to Successful Writing the Right Way

I’m late on getting this blog out and kind of achy from several days of moving around meat for the dogs. Picking it up, thawing, repackaging, stuffing in the freezer. The job’s not done but all the meat is somewhere safe from feral cats and curious Salukis. I’m about to pack it in for the night but I’ve made a commitment to myself to deliver every day. So I’m going to share wisdom from one of our genre’s greats: Nora Roberts

nora roberts writing

Can’t be much clearer than that. Oh, wait, it says “Anyone who tells you there’s a ‘right’ way to…” Hmmm. Ahem.

Ummm. Okay, well, I’ve been invited by Melissa Snark to her Snarkology blog as part of The Write Pet. I’m one of a group sharing stories about their pets and excerpts from their books. Check us out Write_Pet_2015 - 500

Night now

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December 23, 2014 · 9:36 am

Another Gem from Seth’s Blog

From Seth Godin’s blog: ***It’s pretty common for successful people to imagine that their success is solely the result of merit. It’s more satisfying than pointing to all the external factors that have contributed to that success. The trap is in being satisfied. Satisfaction in their meritocracy causes companies, industries and cultures to calcify, to harden themselves against new ideas and new people.***

The complete blog is here: Meritocracy

Does that hit home with you? I’ve certainly encountered it, in many facets of my life. Authors claiming their book was picked up by an editor because it was the best book ever written. Even though the editor was wanting to fill a slot with shape shifting bats, and this was the most appealing shape shifting bat story on their desk.

It’s especially trying when someone gets in your face about winning over you when the truth is something far more subtle than one person is “better” than another. We have the choice of snapping back at them, or just congratulating them and moving on. The moving on does sometimes offer a feeling of superiority, doesn’t it?

Well the sun is shining on last night’s snow and it’s going to be a gorgeous day. I just wanted to share this with you before I trekked out.

Now where did we bury that toy?

Now where did we bury that toy?

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January 8, 2013 · 10:43 pm

Enough Silliness

Let’s take a quick break from my world of ice fog and skinny dogs to discuss something serious (okay, quit your snickering in the back)  My guest today is Dr. Dennis Lewis, author of Dysfunction: Identify it. Own it. Eliminate it. Dr. Lewis is the real deal, a practicing psychologist in California.  {Brief breath to avoid the too obvious one liner} I’m honored to host him, with a brief essay on dysfunctional relationships and a wicked recipe for home made bread.  Can you smell it baking now?  May I introduce Dr. Lewis (polite applause)Dysfunction - Click Image to Close

Dissolving the epoxy of a dysfunctional relationship                    

Are you stuck in relationship that everyone has told you to get out of? Do you ask yourself in the mirror why you are staying? Do excuses bubble forth that delay you from making a decision? Such head-games ignore the fact that the glue that keeps you tied together is the hostile-dependent relationship.

Domestic violence is the best example. The reporter covering the story of a woman murdered by her spouse may marvel that she had separated multiple times from the abuser only to go back. The sociological analysis points to many factors: poverty, insecurity, lack of resources, homelessness, depression, lack of support. Yet from an outsider’s perspective, she had alternatives. Ultimately, the supposedly benevolent observer reverts to blaming the victim. In Social Psychology, this is known as the essential attribution error.

The error is to attribute the behavior to a voluntary decision by the person and impugn her character. In reality, the attractive force controlling the behavior is the vortex of the hostile dependent relationship. You can see this in other instances of unbreakable bonds. Situations include bosses with subordinates, military drill instructors, or dysfunctional family relationships.

Individual motivation draws on multiple factors in any given situation. Hostile dependency merely tends to pull the same players together over and over again. Why the participants act out the same repetitive dance can be traced to their individual dynamics, and such an analysis can be theoretically interesting. But the glue in the process is hostile-dependency.

The individual who recognizes this has one more tool at his or her disposal for escape. The awareness of the source of the pull will enable you to consider your options on level ground. Instead of an unnamed impulse pulling for a precipitous decision, you get to delay, to weigh the alternatives, and actually to make up your mind. In your attempt to separate, you can act with purpose instead of reflex. In this mindset, the alternatives that are available to you become more real and thereby attainable.

You might still need some support to stick with your decisions, but recognizing the taffy-like nature of the hostile dependent relationship will give you authorization to make the break. Summon up your courage. Recognize the hostility coming from the other person, and then stand on your own.  You’ll be healthier once you do.

***STANDING OVATION***

Thank you Dr. Lewis

Rustic Wheat Bread

9 oz Water

3 Tbs Honey

1 ½ Tbs Butter

2 tsp yeast

1 ½ tsp salt

1 ½ Cups White flour

½ cup rye

½ cup whole wheat flour

½ cup whole rolled oats

1 Tbs Seminole flour if you have it.

2 Tbs Sunflower seeds

1 Tbs rice

2 Tbs Corn Meal

2 Tbs Nuts

2 Tbs Bulgar

1 Tbs Barley Malt

Optional: 2 Tbs flax seeds

2 Tbs Almond Meal

1 Tbs Millet

Mix in bread machine on dough setting. Remove and refrigerate over night. Remove and form. Air rise for 1 ¼ hours.

Place in warm 200 degree over X 20 minutes. Turn on oven to 395 for 17 minutes. Reduce heat to 350 for 20 minutes.

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November 12, 2012 · 7:12 pm

So…Triberr

Triberr is in some ways the final stop on our journey to better self promotion.  It’s also one of the niftiest ways to help ourselves and each other build our platforms. The real beauty of Triberr is the ease of operation. Once you’re set up, it’s mostly a matter of stopping by to help your fellow tribe mates into the Twitter stream.

Step one is your blog which you’ve written to be not too long, of general interest, and interesting enough to grab people’s attention.  Step two is your participation in Twitter , which you can use as a route to Triberr and also as a networking aid all on its own.  Step three is Triberr, where your blog, which has been linked to Twitter, will now be forwarded by as many people who know people who know people on Triberr.

BLOG—TWITTER—TRIBERR

Which means what, you’re no doubt wondering.  Well, I have today 1,357 Twitter users following me, or at least they have me in their “follow” section. A fair number of people but not really enough to help much with sales or promotion. Through Triberr, and my nine tribes and 128 tribe mates, my “reach” is now 289,399 potential readers.  Kind of impressive, don’t you think? Especially considering four of those tribes have the same six people (which happens as you’re building your tribes.)

So now, instead of having to publish all over Facebook and my discussion groups “Hey, look, I did a BLOG,” all I have to do is let my blog publish into Twitter, and through Twitter to my Triberr stream, where if I want I can spiffy up the title a bit more, and it will be moved “upstream” through the efforts of my tribe mates, whose blogs I push upstream when I visit once or twice a day.

Winter’s coming, time to hunker down and write

To be a good tribe mate, you do need to visit at least once every couple days and once a day is better.  You sign in, then go to “Tribal Stream” and approve blogs from your tribe mates.  You have the option not to approve if for some reason you don’t agree with the subject matter, but in general the bloggers who have made the effort to link to Triberr through Twitter write well enough you generally don’t have to worry.

Through Triberr I’ve found blogs I would never normally have found and it seems others have the same experience since I’m getting new followers every week, many of whose names are totally new to me.  The best tribes have rules about what you should write, how you should format your titles, and how often you should help promote. For example, once this blog shows up in “my posts” I’ll be changing the title to ‘Mona Reveals Triberr Secrets’ then I’ll add some hashtags like #writing #Triberr and maybe #romance, since that is what Mona writes.

To the question of, is Triberr worth setting up, then following arbitrary rules? I’d have to say absolutely yes, Triberr is more than worth the time and effort to get set up, and to spend a little time every day helping others who are helping you.

On future Mondays I’ll be sharing some of the great blogs I come across or maybe information I’ve picked up along the way. And I’ll be fleshing out some of the information I’ve shared so far as I learn more.  If anyone has any blogs they’d like to reference please do.  Even though I spend far more time than I should reading blogs I never find all the good ones.  With Winter coming up awfully fast we’re all going to be needing more to read.

I’d hoped to have a link here to the Black Opal Books Author Blog, where I reveal how I ended up with a writing alter ego but it’s not up yet so I’ll do that another time.

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February 22, 2012 · 9:37 am

Wednesday Brunch with Jami Gray

I spent the day in Santa Fe yesterday, unfortunately most of it trying to find the right county government building.  Sigh.  So no cookies but we’re having Chile Relleno with eggs for brunch, and I’ve picked up some (virtual) Sopapilla for Jami.  Sopas are a light dough that puffs up into a pillow when fried.  Yummm.  Not for Mona, but amazingly the Relleno are since they are green chilies stuffed with a bit of cheese and dipped into a whipped egg batter.  What could be more carb friendly?

So, on to our guest today.  Jami is a fellow Black Opal Books author.  Her tag line  is:  “Urban Fantasy where even the monsters fear what hides in the shadows. Come find me if you dare.”  Dang, wish I’d come up with something that catchy!  Her first book is Shadow’s Edge–more on that later, right now we’re going to hear about Jami’s furry third child.  No, not what you were thinking!

The Canine Equation

by Jami Gray 

(Enter small tornado) Okay, Mona, fair warning, you know I don’t cook unless it involves pushing buttons on a microwave or a phone so no nifty recipe from me, however some hot chocolate spiced with jalapeño wouldn’t be out of place.

(Big sigh as takes seat) Before others can ask, yes, I’m from down where the sun dries everything out to jerky and anything over 115 degrees is just hot, dry heat or not!  No, not hell, people, Arizona! (shaking head)

So the other day I went out into that big black hole of chaos known as Twitter, and fell into a discussion on dog purchasing.  This particular individual was considering an Irish Wolfhound.  Her other half was aiming for a Lab.  I told her to stick to her guns and go for the Wolfhound, but if she lost, she’d love having a Lab.  I can say that because I am the proud owner of an aqua phobic, floor supporting, 110 pound ball of loving devotion known as the Hellhound that moonlights as a Lab.

Long, long ago before the knight in slightly muddy armor and I were blessed with the Prankster Duo, we discussed our canine options.  He was all for a Rottweiler and I was leaning more towards the Irish Wolfhound camp.   Since neither of us were giving in, we tabled the conversation.

When the younger half of the Duo was about five, and the older one six, we decided it was time to add a four legged, tail wagging component to our family equation.  The knight had a co-worker who was looking for new homes for her last litter of AKC labs.  He brought home a picture of the group—two boys, three girls—ranging from the sun touched yellow to this beautiful cinnamon color.

We gathered the Duo and headed over to check out the last two pups—one girl, one boy.  Up till that point, the Duo were understandably cautious around dogs.  Let’s be honest, anything that can stand taller than you and cover your face in one wet swipe was not something you want to mess with.

On the journey over, we had a discussion about our hopefully soon-to-be addition.  The boys already had a name picked out—Stitch.  Didn’t matter if we went boy or girl, the name was a chosen and there was no wiggle room.   Upon arrival, we found out the girl had already chosen her new family so we met the last boy of the group.

It took, maybe, twenty seconds and not only was I head over heels in love, so was my Duo.  So enamored of the furball, I failed to take in the size of small dinner plate paws attached to the sweet, dorky tail wagging, kiss monster that would be coming home with us.  Arrangements were made and we had our newest family member.  Of course the Duo had one complaint at the time, they couldn’t understand why Stitch wasn’t blue.  (Yep, Disney had plastered the Lilo & Stitch movies everywhere!)

It’s been 7 ½ years since the hellhound came home and I can’t imagine what our family would be like without him.  Beyond the body checks that may mean certain paralyzing falls, he is a champion floor holder (the floors never even consider moving when he’s got them covered) and he’s the best foot warmer ever!  Plus, even though he and our pool tend not to see eye to eye, he has no problems providing life guard services when the boys are out swimming.  Even though he doesn’t trip up the stairs like he used to, he still manages to come up every night, stuffed paté in mouth (it’s not a real duck, promise!) and lay guard while we sleep.  The Prankster Duo has grown along side the Hellhound until he’s become our third furry son.  Every morning I’m reminded of why I’m so grateful the knight and I agreed to the canine addition.  I’m a firm believer that pets make you laugh more, love deeper, and show you the true meaning of selfless love.  Even if they aren’t blue!

Shadow’s Edge: Book 1 of the Kyn Kronicles is out now and Shadow’s Soul: Book 2 of the Kyn Kronicles hits shelves Summer 2012.

Website: www.JamiGray.com

Buy Link: www.BlackOpalBooks.com

Blogs: www.JamiGray.wordpress.com or www.7EvilDwarves.wordpress.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/jamigray.author

Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/JamiGrayAuthor

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February 15, 2012 · 10:17 am

Wednesday Brunch with Liv Rancourt (Amy Caldwell)

I had hoped to have low carb meringues this morning, found a great recipe. Unfortunately when they say “put in a 350F oven, turn off, and leave overnight,” they don’t mean a counter top convection oven. I tossed out a gooey mess this morning. Sigh. It didn’t help that we had another snow, so the humidity was up.
We’re going to have hot cocoa today, made with heavy cream (low carb!), cocoa powder, with a dash of cinnamon and chili powder. Since the roads aren’t passable this morning I’ll splash some Lady Godiva into Amy’s mug, while she tells us about fitting life into her writing schedule. BTW the portrait and book cover artwork is by Amy’s sister, Liza Rancourt-Fennimore.

Juggling…
Once a friend asked me what was on my schedule for the weekend and I gave her the(rather long) list. When I was done, she said, “I see that you’ve got a typically Caldwellian weekend planned” (Caldwell being my married name). Turns out she coined a phrase, and ever since, when things are, well, normally busy, we refer to it as a Caldwellian day.
And since I’ve got two kids in middle school, things are often in a Caldwellian state. The kids go to different schools, ergo different schedules and vacation days. One plays soccer but the other changes sports with every season, which means navigating shifting practice schedules. They both study instruments and my daughter sings in a choir. Weekends are taken up with games and friends and you name it. Oh, and did I mention I work full time? And I’m a writer.
It’s that last thing that’s taking an increasingly large bite out of my schedule, especially with the release last month of my first book, A Vampire’s Deadly Delight. Now, when I’m not working or driving to lessons or practices, I’m at the laptop working on blog posts or one of the short stories I’ve got in the hopper or maybe the novel I’ve got cooking. My family is amazingly patient and supportive with all of this. Which is a good thing, because you’ll notice I haven’t yet mentioned housework. I’m not doing a whole lot of that kind of thing – too busy – and they’ve been very tolerant of our increasingly chaotic surroundings.
I haven’t mentioned cooking yet, either, except in terms of my novel. I’m more of a microwave goddess even when I do have a lot of time, but lately even that’s been a challenge. Fortunately, my husband does like to cook, and we’ve got the local pizza boys on speed-dial. There are times, though, that it falls to me, and when necessary, I go to http://www.allrecipes.com. I’ve had really good luck finding ideas for fast, easy, and yummy dinners. And easy. Did I say easy? Because that’s key if something’s going to survive the Caldwellian surge.
One recipe I came up with recently was for Salsa Chicken. You basically toss chicken breast in some taco seasoning, put them in a pan, dump salsa over top of them and bake. When they’re done, you put some sour cream and chopped avocado on them and you’re golden. Ready to go. Even I can do that. And it’s SO good. The kids have asked for it more than once. Here’s a link to the actual recipe, in case my description is too sketchy… http://allrecipes.com/recipe/salsa-chicken/detail.aspx
So the next time you’ve got a Caldwellian schedule going on, remember the Salsa Chicken recipe, and know too that your family may well be more flexible than you give them credit for. As long as the health inspector doesn’t show up, you’re probably fine.
Peace, Liv

Amy, thanks for stopping by
You can find A Vampire’s Deadly Delight at:

Black Opal Books

Amazon

Barnes & Noble

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