Judgemental? Of Course I Am #MFRWAuthors

So are you. So are all of us. We judge every time we shop, every time we relate to the public. Heck, every time we go through our residence…Is this dirty or clean? When do I absolutely need to muck out this cupboard? Did I wear this or just try it on and decide against it? Yikes, when am I going to go through that pile of clothes (clean? dirty? outdated?) on the back of the chair?

We all judge ourselves and the people around us. Do we know them? Can we trust them? Do they belong in our neighborhood,have we seen them before? When traveling, especially alone, we judge the potential for every service station, every restaurant, every parking lot. Safe? Questionable? Worth the risk of maybe running late and having to reach your vehicle after dark?

We are all judging. All the time. For me, in my ‘other’ life I’m expected to be judgmental.

Image may contain: Monica Stoner and Deej McClain, tree, dog, outdoor and nature

Here I am with DJ and Zinnia. Can’t read the photographer’s name. This was in Connecticut in August

Heck people hire me to judge…dogs. They expect an honest opinion and yes they get it. When I’m judging dogs I have no friends in the ring with me. I don’t know the history, breeding, owner or handler…only the dog in front of me. I judge this dog against the standard …the written description of a good Saluki.

In the process I see people of all ages and sizes, dressed in any fashion from expensive to economy. At least I think they are dressed that way since for the most part I really don’t see the people. Just the dogs.

Does this make me unusual? Nope, most judges only see the dogs, at least while they’re judging. We all get kind of tunnel visioned. Not a bad thing for this sport. I’m just mentioning this to show I understand judgmental, and I apply it to a specific part of my life.

I try very very VERY hard not to be judgmental in any other part of my world. NOT to ‘notice’ how a friend has gained weight, or maybe is trying a newer, less attractive hair style. I figure it’s their hair let them wear it however they want. If they don’t ask, I don’t say anything except how good it is to see them. I also try hard not to comment, even to myself, about the people in the grocery scooters, carts loaded with expensive low quality high calorie sodas and chips. Maybe, just maybe, if they got something ‘better’ to eat they might not ooze over the sides of the seat. Their health, their business.

Heaven’s know I’m no poster child for great health. Getting there, but still not there. It’s a journey…a life long struggle to do better. But having lost a husband to diabetes/cancer/kidney damage…it’s so hard not to judge here.

Oh and I judge writing contests. I’m as objective and upfront as I can be. Too harsh? That’s a difficult judgment call (HA! Pun probably intended) since we are supposed to be helping guide future writers. Better to find out now you need to work on subject/verb agreement than to find out after your first (self) published book goes live.

However, if someone acts like McDonald’s donkey?? Yeah I’ll be judging that, and remembering the braying long after it’s over. Because some things just need to be judged.

For now, hug those you love, call them if they’re not near. Love them for who they are. Go outside and enjoy the weather. Winter’s on the way, it’s not going to be like this soon.

BICHOK, y’all


Here’s Ms Sunshine because we can never have too much happy sun.



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5 responses to “Judgemental? Of Course I Am #MFRWAuthors

  1. Marina Doerfer

    Isn’t that the truth! Love ya!


  2. Great blog, Monica. And yes, you’re right. We judge everything all the time. I stopped judging contest entrie because I couldn’t take it anymore. However, I do edit books for a living (wish I could write books for a living, but oh well), and every once in a while I want to rip out what little remains of my hair. On a daily basis, like you, I attempt to remain neutral, no matter what my guts are screaming at me about a person and/or his/her beliefs, etc.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. we have survived to a rather ripe age. I think this gives us the right to judge a bit!


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